More Fascinating Lies About Meme

‘Kay, I’ve been tagged by a very cool blogger friend, Lea (go check out her blog) and I’ve been taking my good old time with it, but here we go:

Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me.

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Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.

Pride

What is your biggest contribution to the world?

My extensive research on the lethal dose (LD-50) of tabloid magazine exposure.  I confirmed that in sensitive individuals, a minimum exposure of three magazine cover sightings in supermarkets is all that is required to invoke instant and complete brain death.  For those with repeated and frequent exposure involving incremental increases in exposure severity, such as members of the paparazzi, massive amounts are required to slow them down (example:  close and prolonged proximity to persons such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, etc.)  It is hypothesized that the public, armed with such knowledge, will be better equiped to cope should they be faced with such life-altering events as botched fertility treatments, unprecedented attention ensued after entering public singing competitions, or forgetting to wear panties when exiting a limousine.

Envy

What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?

Huge expense accounts.  They are allowed to write off such work-related necessities as in-house shoulder-rubs, singing candygram deliveries, additional staff assigned to M&M colour-sorting, and big-screen office televisions, among many others.  It gives me something to strive for.

Gluttony

What did you eat last night?

Barbequed dinosaur.  It was delicious.

Lust

What really lights your fire?

When a man boasts to me of his hunting prowess, it drives me wild.  Also, I really don’t find it a turn-on for my man to have a terribly literate mind – the dumber the better.  And it’s very exciting when a guy is proud of his extensive study of how-to manuals such as the Kama Sutra – very hot…because you know, women are so much like cars, it only makes sense to learn about what pleases them from an instruction booklet.

Anger

What is the last thing that pissed you off?

I don’t get angry.  People try to piss me off.  But I am a rock.  I am Switzerland.  I am a white dove flying over a peaceful sea.

Greed

Name something you hoard and keep from others.

Knowledge.  I refuse to tell anyone anything.  Knowledge is power and it is mine – ALL MINE!

Sloth

What’s the laziest thing you ever did?

Completely slack my way through my university degree.  I slept through lectures and labs, I cheated on exams, I never did any of the extra assignments for bonus points.  I thumbed my nose at the Dean’s List.  I could have cared less about my grades.

Okay, your turn.

I know you’re clever.

Lie to Meme!

(P.S.  If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!  Link back to me or message me to let me know so I can check out your answers…)

How to Make 2009 Kick Ass

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Okay, so…yeah.  I know.  We aaaaallll wanna get skinny, organized and rich in the New Year.   Whatever.  *snore*

I would like to suggest that this year you try it MY way.

Drea M.’s Suggestions for Things to Do in 2009:

  • Dance on a different continent.
  • Dye your hair a colour it’s never been.
  • Learn a new language.  Don’t choose which language to learn based on what you think would be practical or easy.  Base your decision solely on which language has the silliest accent when speaking English with it.
  • Go on a road trip completely guided by the eyes-shut-and-point method of map reading.  Take lots of pictures and notes so you can tell funny stories about your adventures when you return.
  • Make something prettier.  (Your home, your yard, yourself, your community, your toilet brush, something…)
  • Hike as far into the wilderness as possible and spend the night sleeping under the stars (no tent).  Hope to see bears.  (DISCLAIMER:  All encounters with bears are solely the responsibility of the reader.  Drea M. cannot be held liable for any readers eaten by bears.)
  • Write funny things on Post-Its and leave them in weird places for strangers to find (Ideas:  “You look FABULOUS today!”, “Don’t look behind you!”, “What are you forgetting to do?”, “Burn after reading”)
  • Be part of a flash mob.  Start one if necessary.
  • Give blood (voluntarily, that is).
  • Give to charity.  (You can SO afford it, asshole.)
  • See the Northern Lights.
  • Hold a spider (Okay, this one is on my list every year.  But this year I’m really gonna do it.  And I’m going to smile.  And make sure there is photographic evidence.)
  • Fall in love (with anything.  Another human, a pet, a book, a song…hell, yourself.  Whatever.  It doesn’t have to be forever.  Just do it for the fun of it.)

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  • Spend an entire day with a close friend doing nothing but drinking beer and watching an entire movie series (Monty Python, Lord of the Rings, The Godfather, Star Wars, etc.)  Have lots of snacks.  Even more fun if you are playing hooky from something more serious in order to do this.
  • Paint flowers on your car (I’ve already done this, but decided to pass it on because it’s very liberating and you cannot help but smile every single time you approach your car when it is covered with flowers.  This serves to improve your quality of life.)
  • Define your biggest fear.  Then overcome it.
  • Decide what you need to live an absolutely fabulous life.  Then get it.

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See?  You’re having more fun already, aren’t you?