It’s a blustery spring day here, and it’s good, because I’m so very, very tired of winter.

Today’s doodle from the Sketchbook.




Higher Power, My Ass

Okay, first off, lemme just say…I’ve never been much of a believer.  Mumbo-jumbo blah-de-blah whatever.

But you know what?  I’ve had a revelation.  There really is something out there.  I have PROOF.

I also know that whatever this Higher Power is…whether he/she/it is a single entity or a collective consciousness or a bunch of electromagnetic energy hovering in the ether…  Whatever it is ~


I know this, because:

I bought a convertible and a mountain bike.


But I am a reasonable person.  I am a happy person.  I am nothing if not resourceful.  I could survive on a desert island.  So I will not allow this to slow me down.  I will forge ahead, I will smile, I will adapt.

Thus, I have a plan and my plan is thus:

Commencing at approximately 0800 hours tomorrow, I shall begin the process of dismantling Spike the Bike as the initial step in converting Skipper the Geo Tracker into an amphibious pedal-powered sailing vessel. 

Next, I shall replace Skipper’s gas/brake/clutch pedals with pedals harvested from Spike, applying waterproof seals as required.  These pedals will power the propellor which I shall create from scrap metal scored from the now-redundant fuel tank, thus also making Skipper an eco-friendly transportation choice and possibly bringing world-wide renown and a documentary collaboration with Leonardo DiCaprio.  This propellor will also be of a daisy-shaped design so that it is pretty.

Tires from Spike shall be revamped to act as emergency flotation devices in the event of a man-overboard situation. 

Should the rain ever cease (hah), my work shall not be in vain, as Skipper’s canvas roof will be transformed to act both as a shelter during inclement weather and also as a sail should the sun ever decide to appear.

I shall use my subliminal psychic powers and my innate sense of cool to convince the rest of the world that frizzy hair is as awesome as it gets. 

I will pretend that I am Holly Golightly in the final scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  Being wet is poignant, endearing, dramatic and poetic. 

I will also commence construction of a massive rainbarrel to collect and filter our clean(ish) Canadian rain, which I will then sell to the Americans as drinking water at an outrageously marked-up price.

So go ahead, Ye Gods.  Melt the icecaps.  Destroy the levees.  Bring it on.  I can take you.


This is only the beginning.

Published in: on August 29, 2008 at 4:52 am  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , , , ,