I love school. No, really – I do. I’m very pleased with my choice to upgrade my education. I plan on being the kickassingest holistic nutritionist on the planet – and by ‘planet’, I mean whatever tropical beach I wind up conducting my practice from.
But as I made my mark on my ‘Support The World Wildlife Fund’ designer cheque made out to the amount which supposedly guarantees an increase in intellect, my gaze drifted toward the window. As I watched the sun beaming down on the summer day, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift as well…
THINGS I COULD HAVE HAD INSTEAD OF HIGHER EDUCATION:
- as previously stated – a week in Paris. *sigh*
- 28 bottles of Dom Perignon 1998
- one-sixth of a brand-new Toyota Prius
- 43 skydives
- enough gas to drive across Canada and back (with enough left over for pancakes if I was driving a fuel-efficient brand-new Toyota Prius)
- at least one reallllly pretty dress…like, reallyreally pretty
- four years’ worth of cat food for my household (the good stuff)
- a down-payment on a very small house
- 8 months’ rent
- 185 seconds of J.Lo performing at a shindig (I don’t really want Jennifer Lopez performing for me, but I read in the news today that she charges 2 million dollars to perform at weddings and such. Maybe she’d screw up and you’d get, like, an extra $10,000 worth of performance by accident.)
- 812 dollar-store Che hats *at the rip-off dollar-my-ass price* (or the Jesus ones, if you swing that way)
- 61 mirrored disco balls
- 1.5 Einstein robots
- 18 pairs of Oakley ‘Over-the-Top’ sunglasses
But alas, the deed is done. The books are here, waiting for me to absorb them – waiting for me to spill wine and chocolate all over them as I study how to encourage good health in others.
I’ll just have to hold off on the disco balls for now. For now.