Mysteries of the Universe

Sooo, I’ve not been blogging much lately, but…

Good news:  I’m back.

Bad news?  My mind has been a bit fractured lately, so this is all you get.  *smirk*

Random Questions Raised in the Dark Recesses of My Mind

Why doesn’t the romantically candlelit cavern in the sewers where the Phantom of the Opera lives smell like poo?

Why in movies and television, do they always take the duct tape off the mouth before untying the hands or legs?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to undo the feet and hands, and let them take the friggin’ duct tape off their own mouth as they run?

Junebugs.  Just their existence in general – I mean, just why?

Since moonlight is just reflected sunlight, why don’t vampires at least get sunburns from being outside at night?

The popularity of Dr. Phil – again…why??

Why does time go by slowly when you are a kid and can’t wait to escape the bullying, the braces, the difficulty in obtaining booze…and then speed up when you are an adult and need all the extra time you can get to try and accomplish all the crap you set out to do when you were younger?

Why did I see a man handing his child a Red Bull at the grocery store at 11 pm the other day?

Who ARE you, mystery blog-stalker who keeps accessing this page from a WordPress link that misspells my name as ‘Andea’?  Who aaaare you…I hate such mysteries.  But you must like me, because you visit several times a day.

They keep making Kraft macaroni and cheese easier and easier to make – why don’t they just skip right to making it for us?  Do we really need that small sense of accomplishment so much?  (*apparently*)

Why don’t I have a robot?

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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. question 1 – the candlelit sewer. Two hypotheses: one is that the candles burn off the smell (like lighting a match after breaking wind – I don’t know whether that actually works but some think it does. Or alternatively, the sewer is in fact disused (evidence being that the candles didn’t create a fireball at burning off the methane – Never having seen Phantom of Opera I’m assuming his facial disfigurement was not caused by a similar flamatory accident in previous years…

    question re moonlight – well reflected sunlight doesn’t give us a moontan, either so it must be different. Maybe vampires are just hypersensitive to certain frequencies of UV light. In which case: sunblock?

  2. I’ll try to help by applying my canine mind-power.
    1) It does smell like poo!
    2) Cuts down on the actors lines.
    3) I feel the same about roaches. Yuk!
    4) Give a bloodsucker a chance. Oh you say you voted?
    5) Some mysteries will never be solved.
    6) It gets worse as you get older. My human spends vast amounts of time looking for things then more trying figure out why he was looking for it.
    7) Goodness, wasn’t that awful heavy for the kid to hold?
    8) I’m not that person. Arf Arf
    9) Wouldn’t help some, they can’t read the instructions on how to open.
    I’m always available to help answer your truly weighty questions. PS I LOVE YOUR SOH – GREAT POST! Visit me at:

  3. Whoa. That poo thing just kind of stopped me in my tracks. I’m gonna be thinking about that for a long time.

  4. Hahahaha, good laughs here 🙂

  5. Wow – it’s like ‘pay it forward’, except with stupid thoughts. 🙂

  6. I think I solved your “Andea” mystery blog-stalker…well, mystery. No, it’s not me.

    I was checking out the ol’ Twitter page when I noticed your blog website URL is wrong and is spelled “Andea”.

    You probably figured this out weeks ago — you’re quite clever.

  7. Oh my fucking god, Bryce – I laughed so hard when I read this! Seriously, on the floor, peeing my pants.

    Oh, and um, yeah…I meant to do that.

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