On Friendship and F@#*-Wits

You know?  I forget sometimes how lucky I am.  (Well, no, I don’t really, but I feel that a certain show of humility is called for here.)

I know some people whose lives, if they were television shows, would resemble shows like Days of Our Lives – lots of melodrama, back-stabbing, infidelity, things like that.

My life, when I really think about it, is more like Sex and the City (but without the stupid clothes and with better makeup) or one of those other sappy, chick scenarios that make you weep on a semi-regular basis because there is just so damn much love going around.  Meaning I have really amazing friends, the kind that are sweet and kind and are there for you in the good and the bad, the kind that hug every time we say good-bye, who say ‘love you’ pretty much every time we talk.  A little nauseating, yes, I admit, but better than the alternative, apparently.  Because who’d have thought this was not a normal thing?

Up until recently, I actually thought the ‘frenemy’ phenomenon was something dreamed up by the daytime drama scriptwriters.  I really did!  But lately I’ve been watching one of my friends (a new-ish friend, but someone I like very much) going through some crazy-ass frenemy stuff with the crowd she spends most of her time with.

I was going to say it’s like junior high…but truthfully, I had really good friends in junior high, too.  In fact, I still have most of them in my life now.

I guess what I don’t understand is this:

Why be friends with people you don’t trust?  Or like all that much?  Or whatever.  If someone is always picking fights with you, if they make you feel crappy, if they stress you out, or if they are nasty or jealous or just plain tiresome…why bother?  I mean, with almost seven BILLION people on this planet, I’m thinkin’…you can probably do better!

None of us are perfect.  My friends are total kooks.  But they know it and they know I know it.  They feel the same about me.  One of my oldest friends gave me a decorative plaque for Christmas that alluded to this, actually…and it made me laugh my ass off.

As for the frenemy thing – I’m willing to bet that these folks love each other, too…because I don’t think you can get that worked up or expend that amount of emotional energy over someone you don’t care something about.  I just wonder about the functionality of the manifestation of that love.  Kind of that “I only hit you because I love you, baby”, it’s-all-fun-and-games-until-someone-ends-up-in-jail kind of love.

So what do we do when we see someone we care about caught up in something like this?

Well, I’m torn.  Part of me wants to clunk their respective heads together like coconuts and tell them to get their shit together and play nice.  Part of me wants to run the fuck away as fast as possible (to have a nice cold beer with my friends).  Part of me wants to laugh and exploit it by writing a tv drama about it (“Bridgewater B4V 1A9”?)

But most of me just wants to make them a sammich and tell them to come party with me and my friends so they can see how it’s done.

Published in: on February 9, 2009 at 1:36 am  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I like the idea about the coconut head banging thing but you should probably run a way right after that and make yourself a sandwich.
    I thought we were supposed to reserve dysfunction for family members.
    Well… I guess friends are just like family, eh?

  2. I would watch Bridgewater B4V 1A9, you know, particularly if you had a part in it. Though I really think the right vehicle for you would be kind of a Smallville meets Northern Exposure – a Superwoman in a small Canadian town, whose main powers involve making sandwiches, clunking the heads of frenemies together, knocking out the electricity of domestic appliances, and, of course, soldering.

  3. Lea: You are a very wise woman, Lea Kelley.

    Chadster: You know me so well, baby. 🙂 (And I know the soldering thing turns you on.)


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