On How the Universe Will Bite You in the Ass Every Time

I was a freshman in theatre school.  Never trust a first year theatre student.

I was having one of those days.  I just wanted to be left alone.

I needed clean clothes.

So I was sitting in the local laundromat, waiting for said clean clothes, reading and thinking about the first year language requisite I was taking – Russian, because by the time I’d gotten the call to tell me my audition had been successful, all the ‘normal’ language classes were full.

That’s when I noticed that the laundromat lady was a little crazy.

Okay, maybe ‘crazy’ is a bit harsh.  The laundromat lady was… ‘special.’  And I didn’t feel like making small talk with her. 

But sure enough, she was headed my way. 

I can’t remember the icebreaker she used to start being my ‘friend’, but I do remember what I said.   In a heavy Slavic accent, “So sorry…do not spik…Inglis…ya styudenka pa Rusky…” 

Laundromat-lady’s face lit up like she’d just discovered diamonds in someone’s pockets.  She nodded and smiled and left me alone.   I buried my face back in my script.

A few minutes later, I heard her speaking to her replacement prey.  “See that cute little girl over there?  She’s from Russia!” 

It hadn’t occurred to me that I was going to want to wash my clothes there for the rest of the school year.   I became so good at the accent, I minored in Russian the following year.

3 comments on “On How the Universe Will Bite You in the Ass Every Time

  1. Otto Mann says:

    You totally should have legally changed your name to Natasha Petrovsky.

    And carried a bottle of vodka all over the place.

    By the way, in Soviet Russia, blog updates YOU!!!

  2. chadhend says:

    Haha, wait a minute, I thought you were Russian. Doesn’t Drea M. stand for Dreavonovich Mihailov?

    Or a better joke still would be that I thought Nova Scotia was in Russia – but of course nobody would appreciate that, would they?

    Haha, well, I’m glad your theater training has come in handy 😉

  3. Drea M. says:

    Otto: I would change my name to Natasha Petrovsky, but I already changed it recently to Zamboni (see https://andreamacmillan.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/the-blogger-formerly-known-as-drea-m/ ) and I’m now committed to that name. And once you’ve gotten to know me, you’ll realize I always carry vodka with me as well.

    Chad: Nova Scotia IS in Russia. You’d love it. You should come visit. Today.

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