Why Teenagers Suck

[Me, a 37-year-old female, enters tobacco shop to purchase a new lighter with which to light her candles while doing yoga.  A female youth, approximately 18 years of age, with multiple facial piercings and orange hair, is chewing gum and talking on the phone behind the counter.]

Me:  [Places lighter on counter next to cash register.]

Teenager:  [Sighs heavily and places phone against her shoulder.]  I’m going to need to see some ID.

Me:  [Beaming, smiles graciously, thinking ‘Damn, that yoga must be working!  I must still possess a youthful glow!  Yay, yoga!’  Hands driver’s license to Teenager, especially pleased because she has exotic body piercings older than Teenager.]

Teenager:  [Stares intently at driver’s license for several seconds.  Gum chomping ceases.]  Oh!  You ARE old.  [Hands driver’s license back.  Rings in purchase.  Resumes telephone conversation.]

Published in: on October 28, 2008 at 5:21 am  Comments (6)  
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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. HA! Oh my.. did you give her the evil condescending glare of Andi, or did you bashfully make an exit?

    I would have destroyed her!

  2. Oh man, haha. Didn’t you just want to yank some of those piercings right out of her face? And, do you really need to be 18 or 21 to buy a lighter? Or maybe you were buying some hash at the same time…

    And good for you for making your yoga experience a little atmospheric. I need to do that, too. That and stop trying to crack my back every five minutes like it is some kind of knuckle.

  3. Plus of course you DO look great, don’t you? So that part of the exchange wasn’t all so bad…

  4. Haha! Chad! I actually had those words written – “wanted to yank the piercings right out of her face” – but I deleted them so people would think I was nice. You saw right through me.

  5. Karma will give her syphillis. I’m sure.

    A couple of years ago (I wasn’t even 30 yet) I was at the movie theatre. I went to buy a coffee before finding a seat. The teenager who sold it to me asked which movie I was going to. When I told her, she says. “Oh! MY mom wants to go to that too!”. Like I was in the same demographic as her mom. I still tipped her. But not well.

  6. The best part is we don’t need to take revenge. Someday both of these girls will be 37. IF they’re lucky.

    Oh, and yes, you do need to be 18 to purchase a lighter. We also have gun control. We’re big on safety in Canada.


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